word count, character count...count me out!

For the past month or so, I have been composing, deconstructing, and recomposing my personal statement(s). Because I am a perfectionist when it comes to writing--just about the only thing over which I'm incredibly detail-oriented-I have been spending hours upon hours scrutinizing each sentence. And since I'm not so detail oriented in other areas, I overlooked a key instruction- word and character requirements. I had most of my word limitations down, and as much as it pains me to "kill" my own sentences, if chopping adjectives and slaying extraneous phrases were a crime, I'd be a serial killer of Ted Bundy proportions.

(Sidenote: This recent article about my beloved city is truly depressing....Use words, not guns, people! http://cbs2chicago.com/local/chicago.homicide.rate.2.847736.html )

Anyway, I was merrily typing along when I noticed some tiny text near the corner of the application, visible only to eagles and the occasional superhero, indicating that in fact, essay length is based upon character count, not word count, includes spaces, and is based on an average word length of six characters. SIX CHARACTERS?!?!?! Who do they think are writing these essays, preschoolers on steroids?

This was a minor nightmare, and I contemplating hurling my laptop out the window. Of course, I thought better of it when I realized that such the only benefit of such an impetuous would be the creation of an expensive if unsightly lawn ornament for the condemned house next door.

So, I brewed another pot of coffee, plugged the computer back in, and geared up for another round of sentence-slaying. I've learned my lesson- pay attention to details, and in a nutshell, SHUT UP. I love words (and especially my words) more than those who read them, and I shouldn't subject the admissions counselors to page upon page of my ramblings. Oh, if only I could learn the art of concision! Sadly, I think that lesson may be a long time in the making.

I will leave you with one of my favorites by Pablo Neruda, a true master of brevity in its finest form:

In A Station of The Metro

The apparition of these faces in the crowd:
Petals on a wet, black bough.