rockin out

This is what I feel like today:


Work and life have been kind of stressful the last few days: got in a minor fender bender over lunch hour the other day when I was rushing to get to the pond to read my book in the sun. The man I bumped was the ideal person to run into, however- he just kept saying, "No worries, it's just plastic and metal." If only everyone could be that easy-going! But of course, my cell phone broke and my rearview mirror fell off on the commute home last night, so it's been a one-two (and three) punch.

Not to mention, I'm currently working on a project at work that is stirring up a political s*storm. It's fascinating from an objective point of view: business administrators attempting to drive physician behavior change. Not an easy task. Honestly, I doubt it will be effective. Everyone's heart is in the right place, but that doesn't make this less messy. Physicians learn best from other physicians, and although marketing is attempting to construct a facade that shows otherwise, it is my unsettling suspicion that all this effort will be for nought when the docs perceive this educational effort as an attept by marketing to increase patient acquisition. Hopefully my pessimism is unfounded, but who knows!

I'm trying to be patient, though. Like all businesses, be they hospitals, universities, or othewrise, this is a flawed organization, made up of flawed individuals. After two years, I do believe that everyone is trying to do their best by the patients. In spite of financial and business constraints (and honestly, a smidge of avarice for some) most people deeply care about patients and each other. I have to remember that when it feels like everything is crashing down around me. It may not be the pretty picture I once envisioned it, but after you wipe away the grime, the beauty of the effort still shines through.


And so, the rock-out picture. This is what I do on my way to and from work every day: my battle cry of sorts. I cruise in after my commute, sun streaming through the open window, crank up the jams, and play a little air guitar. It makes me feel more alive- and so much more me- before I enter the storm.