"all good things are wild and free"

It's been awhile since I posted anything about grad school, or anything at all, for that matter, as I've been so immersed in soaking up my vacation. It's been a real joy to stop for a few weeks, probably for the first time since high school, and just enjoy being in the moment. I've spent the last few weeks at my parent's place on Lake Erie, kayaking in the grottoes and lagoons around Catawba and Green Island. My  dad's been teaching a little bit about bird watching, which has been enlightening on a few levels. Usually I'm so caught up in the rush of life that it's painful for me to sit still with my own thoughts for more than a minute or two, but being on the lake relieves that pressure somehow. Suddenly, the details spring to life- the purple wildflowers blooming from the bluff, the deep green moss, optimistic lily pads, the mysterious and enticing caves. It's so clean and simple and refreshing.

And how have I gone my whole life neglecting the beauty and wildness of the birds? The eagles gliding fierce and regal, arrogant in their royalty. The herons elegant and with admirable patience; the coomerans swift and clever as they dive for fish. My favorite, I think, are the kildeer, amusing entertainers who drag their wings and play injured in a show to lure predators away from their nests. Sitting low and silent in the water, paddling whirlwinds through the warm green water, I feel part of nature in a way that, for all the hustle and bustle I love, I never quite manage in a city.

I'm growing increasingly excited as my move approaches, and I crave the chaos of student life-  it's part of what drew me to grad school. In fact, it's been a challenge to suppress my anxiety and guilt about not using  my time more "effectively," to travel to some exotic locale, or do some internship or other career-enhancing activity we all scramble to do so much of the time. I'd be lying if I said I don't thrive on that...most of the time.

 For the time being, however, it's been sheer bliss to spend my days idly reading, hiking and kayaking, and finding a kind of peace I didn't know existed. The storm will begin soon enough.