the angst of indecision

So I've been absent from this blog for awhile, and it's not for lack of updates in the grad school world. In fact, my absence stems mostly from the fact that, in the overwhelming rapids of information that have come churning through my own narrow river of life, I have been paralyzed with indecision. (Although, as my friends can attest, it's not for lack of lipservice--here's a note of apology to all of you who've listened to me agonize endlessly the last month).

In summary:

- I've been accepted to three great programs, all of which have their own unique qualities which I will rehash at a later date (hey baby, I've got until April 15th to decide and you cant bet on it that I will take every last moment)
- I've kind of sort of worked out an arrangement with my work to stay on part-time remotely, which makes me feel relieved and frightened. Relieved, because I've finally come clean and copped to my grad school plans. Relieved, because the thought of going jobless in this economy is scarier than seeing Jessica Simpson in yet another pair of Daisy Dukes, and because I, quite frankly, feel safer doing something to "advance my career" than to take a random job serving whiskey to locals (although I'm sure that would spawn some interesting stories). On the other hand, I worry that my commitment to work might compromise my ability to fully participate in the world of gradschool and all its unforseen opportunities. I do feel like I have more to contribute to my current company, and don't want to end on bad terms after they've invested so much, so we'll see how it works out.
-I'm confronting 3 moves in less than 6 months: one back to Chi-town from Arizona, which is not without its conflict (workwise and luggage-wise), one into my boyfriend's place when my lease expires, and one to the East coast, wherever I end up....ugh, apartment search #239823 here I come
-Financial woes: financial aid, loans, economy, credit crunch? I think we've all heard enough of that these days so I'll stop there.

I'm ecstatic to be starting my new grad school life, and so ready for it. I think I realized just how ready when I was excited to do my biostats homework since it meant a change of pace from the countless process maps/excel sheets I'm required to produce on any given day...wow. That might have been the single most depressing sentence I've ever written.

Anyway, there's a lot going on--and even more sleepless nights. I think I've gone through an entire bottle of Tums in the last 3 weeks of 3am wakeups. It's pretty pathetic when the highlight of your day is imaging half a dozen small disks of chalk absorbing the gallons of acid writhing in your stomach.

Also, it occurred to me that I may have to change the url to this blog...what will I be when I go back to grad school? Not babysuit anymore...maybe babyblazer? babyelbowpatch? baby-gotta-wear-sweatpants-cuz-my-diet-consists-soley-of-ramen-noodles-and-cheetos? Suggestions are welcome.

*Edit: The previous name of this blog was "Babysuit," a nod to my awkardness in my new work wardrobe immediately post college graduation