a little bit of medicine....

In terms of grad school, there are a few more applications I have yet to complete. I've been a bit distracted lately (as evidenced by my lack of attention to this blog), by schoolwork, the election, a cold, wrapping up my finance stint in Philly, and getting ready to "move" to Phoenix (more on that later...)

My cold was minor: a little cough and a slight sore throat, accompanied by the requisite whining to my mother via throaty, whispered cell phone calls. I couldn't sleep a couple of nights, when it felt like there were several dozen hyperactive Boy Scouts attempting to build fires in my throat, and as I writhed in agony, I quickly lost my grip on reality and plunged into the depths of self-despair.

That is, until the next morning when I was traipsing around the hospital affixing asset tags to capital equipment (read: the most mind-numbing job ever), I stopped to chat with a kindly-looking elderly man wearing an Ohio State cap. As we chatted enthusiastically about the impending Northwestern vs. Ohio State football game, I noticed him grimace in pain several times, although he wasn't moving in the slightest, and his face blanch as whatever was bothering him grew increasingly worse. We finished our friendly conversation, and as I trotted away he quietly offered me the traditional Ohio parting words of "OH," to which I gleefully replied, "IO," secretly delighted to find a small piece of home in a faraway city.

What struck me more than our easy Midwestern camaraderie, however, was the chronic pain my newfound friend was clearly experiencing that day, and most likely every day. (Assuming, of course, that his pain could not have been in response to my pitiful predictions of an NU victory.) I thought about my cold and how annoying it was, and the gulf between the sick and the healthy opened in my mind. I have always taken my health for granted. Except for minor illnesses and surgeries, I have never experienced protracted or dehibilitating pain. If I ever did encounter such a misfortune, I could go to a number of specialists, get a few scrips, and be done with it by day's end. I think about all those with no or insufficient insurance, who have no choice but to live with the pain, the discomfort, and much worse than the occasional sore throat until it gets better...

or until it forces them into the ER.

After experiencing life from the student and provider's perspective, I understand the implications of this country's paltry emphasis on preventative medicine & primary care from a conceptual (and financial) perspective: predispositions, poor health behaviors, or chronic illnesses left unadressed until more costly, time and labor-intensive acute care is the only available alternative. What I forget--or simply can't imagine-- is what it must feel like to be that individual with high blood pressure who can't buy their medication or to have strep throat without access to antibiotics. I can't imagine living in constant pain, rendered unable to participate in my own life, a helpless bystander watching as my body betrays me. Once again, I am grateful for the opportunity to work with patients who distill the articles, theories, and philosophical pontification in which I so often lose myself, and illimunate real life. I hope that grad school--and especially public health internships--will help expose me further, because I know I must understand before I can help.

And on that note, back to applications!....